It was only two months ago that I felt like I had finally lost this war. My previous doctor who had been overseeing my care told me that I wasn't getting better due to the fact I had a spell cast on me while I was in Africa. I was utterly demoralized in every sense of the word. I could no longer eat without vomiting, crawling out of bed was comparable to climbing a mountain, and the pain I experienced was excruciating. I once had a thirst for life, I wanted to experience life to its fullest potential and do everything I had dreamed of. However, I had now reached the point in which I could no longer live within my own body. The pain was too much, the fatigue too great, and the mental toll too devastating. I'm not exactly sure what I would have done, and I'm not comfortable really confiding every detail for everyone to see, but the fact remains I had reached the point where if things didn't improve quickly I saw no way in which I could continue to live in my current state.
I came clean to my family and told them the burden was too great to bear any longer, I had finally reached my breaking point. And then it happened. I received a phone call from a couple I met while I was in treatment at my previous clinic. They were middle-aged, but we got along well right from the beginning. The wife had been struggling with this illness for years and had yet to see any real improvement. They called me and told me that their family friend was one of the top doctors in the country and despite the fact that he wasn't seeing new patients for another year they would get me in to see him in a couple weeks. They would also allow me to stay at their house in the Washington DC area in which they currently weren't living in. These people stepped in and essentially saved my life and expected nothing in return.
I headed out loaded up on percocet (only way I could get out the house) and flew across country to give it one last shot at winning this war. I realized if this didn't work I wouldn't have anything left to go at it again. I thought my chances at improving at this point were slim but I was still holding onto the notion that I had to give it everything I could. I owed it not only to myself, but to everyone else inflicted with this terrible illness to overcome it. I was aware that this thing was much bigger then me, and I had to muster up whatever strength I could and give it one last go.
I'll fast forward through all the laborious details and get straight to the point. Upon meeting the doctor he explained to me that I was not even a difficult case. Being in Arizona was one of the worse possible scenarios for me and I should've gone out of state from the moment I received my diagnosis. He told me, that though he couldn't make any promises he truly believed he could bring me back. The best part of this was the treatment was simply taking the right medication. There was no grueling chemo like therapy, no days with my face hovering above a toilet seat. He simply figured out what was wrong, gave me the proper medication and I got better.
It's been two months and the recovery has been nothing short of amazing so far. I was practically a vegetable upon arriving here and I'm back to essentially being fully-functional. I still have a little ways to go, I'm at around 70% so I'll still need to get that other 30% back, but that should come with time. For now it really does seem like I will overcome what has been without a doubt the most difficult time in my life. A feat I thought was nearly impossible just a few months ago.
It's strange reading through the previous posts and reflecting upon the flight I took home from Australia nearly two years ago. I remember thinking that whatever was wrong with me was no big deal. I'd take some pills for a couple weeks and I'd be fine. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I'd have to fight and claw my way just to survive over the next couple years. Fortunately, in any negative situation there is always positives to be taken. I am without a doubt certain that I will never let petty issues detour me from my happiness ever again. Life truly is a gift, something that we all take for granted. It's only when it is potentially taken from us, we come to the realization just how precious it is. If I could offer advice to anyone, please try to live life to its greatest potential. Take chances, make mistakes, keep working to attain as much happiness as humanly possible. And that happiness will likely not be provided through materialistic things, but through relationships you cultivate, and goals you set forth and then accomplish.
We live in a society where we feel as if we are safe and protected from anything adverse ever happening to us. However, I can promise that life is much more fragile then you may ever realize. Start living today instead of tomorrow!
